your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
