No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
