don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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