did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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