She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
