But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
