I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
