I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
