This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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