Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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