STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
