I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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