where am i from again
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
