Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
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