Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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