I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
