Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
