you traded sex for a burrito?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
