I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
