I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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