You just made me feel so damn special
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I wear drunk well.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize