508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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