I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
