she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
