we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
