It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
