And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize