the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
