need another drink. this is the easiest way
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
