you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
