Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
