Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
