my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
