I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
