The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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