Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
