I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Randomize
