would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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