Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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