Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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