Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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