I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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