new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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