How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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