Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
