READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
