Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
