Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
