sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
