Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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