I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
