kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
