Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
