I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
