New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
