If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
