I want to make a zoo with you.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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