i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
