when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
