his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
