am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
