i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
