fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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