I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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