Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
