is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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