All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
