you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
